My first conscious experiences with Lakshmi I had during and after my first stay at the ashram in Sri Lanka in 2010. Before this I came to the satsangs in Germany regularly, but I wasn´t able to really connect to Lakshmi and didn´t feel close to her.
But at the ashram this changed already on the second night during darshan. I asked Lakshmi to help me to open my heart for all the love and longing that were still deeply buried in me.
I was granted help and my stay at the ashram became something very, very precious. I was given the neccassary „ingredient“ which is needed so that something whole can develop. I felt deeply grateful and was willing to accept this present and its implications. At the same time I became aware of a wonderful sense of security within myself, for which I didn´t have a name at that time. A huge door was opening for me.
After two weeks at the ashram it was time to say goodbye and I felt uneasy. It was very hard for me to leave Lakshmi and the atmosphere of love and security and I asked myself what my daily life in Germany would be like. But my worries were unfounded for soon I realized that I could carry all these feelings and experiences home with me and that they had taken roots in my heart. Deep inside I discovered a space which I wanted to explore and I was looking forward to doing so.
Nothing in my life was as it used to be before my time in Sri Lanka. Everything felt different and new and a beautiful time full of love began for me. I often couldn´t help smiling and asked myself if it was really me who felt and experienced all this. It felt like an awakening, a blossoming – and as if I was realizing step by step what was really important in life. Since these days my life has become so much richer and happier that I wouldn´t miss a single day.
Many wonderful experiences followed, experiences that were sometimes accompanied by tears. But these tears had the effect that the door to my heart could open more and more.
Since then my relationship to Lakshmi has changed a lot; it has become much deeper, for which I am very grateful and which makes me very happy.
Pavitra – 09. April 2012